Recently I preach on the dangers of and the incredible damage, pornography can do to a person’s life. These are my sermon notes, with all the statistics and points that I made. At the end is the Action Plan for people to use to walk in freedom.
- It is one of the most addictive things
- It is one of the most destructive things
- It is one of the most pervasive things – because we live in a highly sexualised society.
- It is a cancer to your self esteem
- It is a cancer to your marriage – present or future
- It is a cancer to your walk with God
Some thoughts and Statistics on Pornography
1) Pornography is trying to meet a legitimate need in an illegitimate way.
2) If we use pornography, we wrench sex out of the relational context in which God intended it to take place.
3) Professors Dolf Zillman of Indiana University and Jennings Bryant of the University of Houston have found that repeated exposure to pornography results in a decreased satisfaction with the sex life that you are experiencing in your marriage, a decrease in the valuation of faithfulness and a major increase in the importance of sex without attachment.
4) What is sex addiction? Sex addiction is a means for people to medicate their feelings or attempt to deal with stress in their life or both. Their sexual behaviour becomes the mechanism for coping with stress if their life
5) Men seem to be wired in such a way that pornography hijacks the proper functioning of their brains and has a long-lasting effect on their thoughts and lives.” Why men rather than women? As [psychologist] William M. Struthers explains, the male and female brains are wired differently. “A man’s brain is a sexual mosaic influenced by hormone levels in the womb and in puberty and molded by his psychological experience.” Over time, exposure to pornography takes a man or boy deeper along “a one-way neurological superhighway where a man’s mental life is over-sexualized and narrowed. This superhighway has countless on-ramps but very few off-ramps.
6) Your eyes are the windows of your soul.
What you repeatedly expose yourself to will influence your imagination, your actions, and finally your character.
There are three things you need to know about pornography.
(1) It’s addictive. Family counselor Gail Hoone said, “Pornography is more addictive than drugs,
(2) It’s selfish. It trains you to see people as playthings to be played with, and all for one purpose—self-gratification. Intimacy, responsibility, and commitment are not even in the picture (or frame).
(3) It’s shaming. Unlike the lepers in the Bible, pornography doesn’t ring a bell and cry, “Unclean! Unclean!” Yet when you fall under its control, you find yourself responding to it in ways that leave you feeling cheapened and unclean. But there’s good news. Every leper who came to Jesus was cleansed; and through His blood you can be cleansed too! Furthermore, you can be empowered by His Spirit to cast down every imagination, and take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). (From the devotional, Word for You Today)
7) At a recent meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, two-thirds of the divorce lawyers who attended said excessive interest in online pornography played a significant role in divorces in the past year.”
Sen. Brownback quoted Richard Berry, President of the Academy, who said, “This is clearly related to the Internet. Pornography had an almost non-existent role in divorce just seven or eight years ago.”
8) Not just a male issue – the assumption is that it’s not an issue for women
Research is starting to emerge that it is becoming a bigger issue for women.
Adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction: 10%; 28% of those are women
9) Pornography eroticises male supremacy
10) In 2003, a Focus on the Family poll showed 47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home.
11) 60% of websites visited on the Internet are sexual in nature.
The term “sex” was the most popular term for which people searched on the Internet, consisting of 1 of every 300 terms.
12) There are more outlets for hard-core pornography in the United States than McDonald’s restaurants
13) Dr. Sal Pellicano, veteran prison chaplain for prison systems in Florida, North Carolina and New Jersey, and currently the director of Beginning Again in Christ, a Christian prison ministry in Mississippi, reports that during his 15-year career, 100% of the inmates he has known who have been incarcerated for a sex crime have been pornography users
14) According to an anonymous survey published in the Journal of Adolescent Health in August 2009:
96% of teens interviewed had Internet access, and 55.4% reported that they had visited a sexually explicit website.
15) 91% of the first exposure by a teen to pornography was during benign activities, such as research for school projects or surfing the Web for other information.*55 30% of all unsolicited e-mails, commonly referred to as SPAM, contain pornographic information or pictures.
Some counselors are estimating that due to the Internet usage by children, the average age of a boy exposure to hard core pornography is eight-and-a-half years old, and for girls is eleven years old
Focus on the Family reports that the average age of first contact with pornography for males has dropped from 11 years old to five years old - Accroding to the website – provenmen.org.
16) More than 20,000 images of child pornography posted online every week. (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, 10/8/03)
17) 51% of pastors say cyber-pornography is a possible temptation, 37% say it is a current struggle. (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, 12/2001)
18) 29% of born again adults in the U.S. feel it is morally acceptable to view movies with explicit sexual behavior. (The Barna Group)
19) 57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation. (Christians and Sex Leadership Journal Survey, March 2005)
20)Pornography communicates its own “truths” about women. Unfortunately, they’re all lies.
Lie # 1: Women are less than human. The women in Playboy magazine are called “bunnies,” making them cute little animals or “playmates,” making them a toy. Porn often refers to women as animals, playthings, or body parts. Some pornography shows only the body and doesn’t show the face at all. The idea that women are real human beings with thoughts and emotions is played down.
Lie #2: Women are a “sport.” Some sports magazines have a swimsuit issue. This suggests that women are just some kind of sport. Porn views sex as a game and in a game: You have to win, conquer or score.
Lie #3: Women are property. It’s common to see pictures of the slick car with the sexy girl draped over it. The unspoken message is, “Buy one, and you get them both.” Hard-core porn carries this even further. It displays women like merchandise in a catalogue, exposing them as openly as possible for the customer to look at. It’s not surprising that many young men think that if they have spent some money taking a girl out, they have a right to have sex with her. Porn tells us that women can be bought.
Lie #4: A woman’s value depends on the attractiveness of her body. Overweight or less attractive women are ridiculed in porn. They are called dogs, whales, pigs or worse, simply because they don’t fit into porn’s criteria of the perfect woman. In fact, if someone is attracted to a heavyset woman, porn labels that a fetish, which means sexual obsession or hang-up that isn’t “natural.” Porn doesn’t care about a woman’s mind or personality, only her body.
Lie #5: Women like rape. “When she says no, she means yes” is a typical porn scenario. Women are shown being raped, fighting and kicking at first, and then starting to like it. Porn eroticizes rape and makes it arousing. Women are shown being tied up, beaten, and humiliated in hundreds of sick ways and finally begging for more. Even while being tortured, the porn actors and actresses have a smile on their face — a look of intense enjoyment. Porn teaches men to enjoy hurting and abusing women for entertainment.
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person — such a man is an idolater — has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit
1 John 2:16
For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.
2 Cor 6;18
Flee from sexual immorality
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,
“I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?
Action Plan for those in the Pornography Trap
1) Be committed to personal holiness.
Know its importance
Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one
will see the Lord:
2) Be Committed to Sexual Purity for the sake of your marriage or future marriage – if you are currently single
Porn will damage the intimacy you have with your spouse.
3) Be committed to yourself.
Understand that Porn is hurting you.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
4) Accountability Partner
Start by talking to some one
Isolation is the one of the biggest strongholds in Porn
Look at the scripture from James – Confess your faults one to another
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
Make a pact with a friend of the same sex regarding purity and sexual fidelity to your spouse. Agree to share and ask questions regarding the details of relationships with members of the opposite sex apart from your spouse. Memorize a verse to recall in times of challenge. Recommendation:
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (Alistair Begg, Lasting Love.How to Avoid Marital Failure)
5) Pray and ask God for Help
Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the ever lasting way
6) Accountability software
In the past – I have given advice – unplug your computer and get rid of it – if you need to – but I don’t think that is realistic in today’s on line world.
8) Develop healthier ways of dealing with pain and stress
You are sexually pure when no sexual gratification comes from
anyone or anything but your wife. (Steve Arterburn)
Some people have the mistaken notion that God is anti-sex. In fact, He’s outspokenly pro-sex! He invented it. What an incredible thought! Passionate sex was God’s idea. He isn’t embarrassed by it. Song of Songs is an entire book in the Bible dedicated to celebrating pure sex in marriage. Part of the challenge Christians face in a lust-filled world is remembering that neither sex nor sexuality is our enemy.
Sex is not the problem—lust is the problem. It’s the enemy and has hijacked sexuality. We need to keep reminding ourselves that our goal is to rescue our sexuality from lust so we can experience it the way God intended. (Joshua Harris, Sex is Not the Problem)
My prayer for you
Father God, Thank you for the gift of sex. I pray for the person who is reading this now, that their sexuality would be outworked with purity, personal holiness and in a biblical way. Protect their eyes, heart and mind, and strengthen their resolve to live a pure life. Walk with them Holy Spirit, bring accountability into their lives. Let them see the power of Christ to bring them into freedom.