Relationship emails between Adam and Eve and God, and God and Jesus


From Adam and Eve

Dear Father God

We regret to inform you that we are finishing up our relationship. It seems that you have been holding out on us and that you have been keeping secrets. This is just not acceptable. For any relationship to work, there shouldn’t be any secrets and we both felt that we had the right to know what was going on. We met Snake. He seems to be more concerned for us and seems to be more interested in a “no secrets” relationship. Please don’t get us wrong, we have really enjoyed our time hanging out with you. But Snake has promised that we will know the difference between good and evil and that seems pretty attractive to us. He said that if we enter into a contract and relationship we will become like you in our knowledge. We have discussed it at length with Snake and the three of us feel that this is the best way forward.

Snake also assures us that you are a God of love and that you would never really kick us out of the Garden of Eden. He put a pretty convincing case forward.

So effective from the first bite of the forbidden fruit, please consider this relationship over. We both want you to move on and find another race of beings to be God to.

Adam and Eve



From Father God


Dear Adam and Eve

Words cannot express the grief and heart break I feel having just finished reading your letter about our break up. I know this guy Snake and he is a tough person to be in relationship with. I gave you everything you could ever desire. I made the garden for you with everything that delighted your eyes and that made your tastebuds dance. I gave you rulership of the entire earth. It was my love gift to you. And you gave my gift to someone else.

It’s true that I had secrets from you. The knowledge of good and evil I kept from you so that you would be protected. I did it for us. I did it so we could live together in this paradise called Eden forever. I have dreamt of my relationship with you guys for over 100 million earth years. You both were formed and fashioned by me to be in connection and communication with me forever. That is your purpose. I am not sure how you are going to get on in life without me.

  • I didn’t make your heart to be able to handle being hurt.
  • I didn’t make your eyes to cry.
  • I didn’t make your emotions strong enough to endure the grief I foresee in the future.
  • I didn’t make you body to endure years of stress and pressure
  • I didn’t make your love able to cope with death – you don’t even know what death is.

Now that you are with snake I can no longer see you. I already miss you intensely. In your letter you said that you hope I find another race to be God to. I don’t want another race. I made you so I can love you. You are my best work. My finest and most intricate creation. When I looked at all of my creation it was good. When I looked at you – you were very good. Such innocence. You were so happy just to be in my presence. You were a delight to my heart.

I will not give up on mankind. I will find away to win you back. I will find a way to romance you. I will give you the greatest love gift in the universe. Then you will see how much I love you. Then you will see that you matter to me. That you are on my heart. That I ache without you.

Remember you left me. When your children’s children ask – where was God when this tragedy happened or that tragedy happened? – for fairness sake – tell them that it was you who moved out. I did not go anywhere. Tell them to blame Snake for flirtaeously taking you away. I don’t want to fight over the kids – but please let them know that their Father loves them.

Must sign off now. I have a plan to work on.

I love you now and always

Father God.




From Father God


Dear Jesus

My heart continues to ache for mankind. I am sick of this long distant relationship where one man as the Great High priest enters the Most Place once a year so that there is some remnant of relationship between me and mankind. I am over it. I want to be personally involved in the lives of every person. I want them to know me as a Loving father. I want to help them in life. I want to protect them and guide them and lift their burdens. I want to remind them of the original purpose for which they were created. I want to give them hope. I want to build a bridge from them to me so that we can be friends.

Unfortunately, my righteous demands punishment for their sin. I have come up with a plan but it is very expensive. It will cost us both dearly. But the rewards will be amazing, Imagine being able to talk one on one to each of mankind at any time of the day. Imagine being able to come out from the Holies of Holies and live instead in the hearts of man. Imagine being in intimate relationship with our creation. Imagine having that restored. It would be just like it was before Adam and Eve went off with Snake.

The problem is that I need to send you to earth as a human. It will require you to become fully man. It will require that you take on the punishment that mankind has earned. My wrath and fury will be poured out on you. You will be tempted and pressured by the devil. You will be denied and betrayed. Let down and forsaken. Our creation will spit on you, rip your beard out, put a crown of thorns on your head, and nail you to a cross to suffer physical pain and death . You will become sin. You will become rape. You will become paedophilia. You will become incest. You will become corruption,. You will become murder.

It is at that point that I will no longer be able to look at you as you become every vile thing that snake has taught mankind. You will feel like I have forsaken you. You will cry out in anguish and pain. You will experience being totally alone in the entire universe. This will be so hard for us as we are in perfect relationship. You do not know what being alone is like.

You will have to go into the very depths of hell. And take hold of the keys of death and hell. After that I will raise you from the dead. You will be forever physically scarred in your hands, feet and side.

But I am sending you because I love mankind so much. I can’t bear to be out of relationship with them. You will be my greatest love gift. Man will see how much I love them when I send my only son to die in their place. It will make it easy for people to come into relationship with me and ultimately into heaven. We will call it grace. Grace because it is my unmerited favour and love being poured out over my children.

And on the day you die we will call that day Good Friday, as it will be the best Friday of history


Father God

Categories: Open Letters, Theology

Tags: , ,

3 replies

  1. So Amazing words. First day of hearing in my life.

  2. This is excellent. It demonstrates just how much God loves us all regardless of what past we have, or what beliefs or lifestyle we lead. It has reminded me again of how much God loves me.

  3. Why do nearly all depictions of Adam and Eve show them as having belly buttons? Got you thinking now…

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