This morning on the news they are reporting that the Australian Treasurer and currently acting Prime Minister of the Nation, gets his economic inspiration from Bruce Springsteen. I have not heard the context of the comment but I have immediately gone to my Springsteen CD collection to discern future ALP Policy Direction. Here is what I think we the Australian People are about to get from the ALP:-
1) Born in the USA
Obviously from this song, Australia is going to relax its immigration laws to citizens of the United States.
Also there is going to be greater recognition of those men who served in the Vietnam war.
Economic incentives will be issued to parents to have more children – obvious as the song is all about being born.
2) Glory Days
This song is about a bunch of old men sitting around in a pub talking about the good days that were the Glory Days.
Economic direction that Mr Swan would get from this song:-
They are going to open Pubs in retirement Villages
Pubs will now have to accept Senior’s cards and give discounts for over 50’s if they want a drink
Pub Owners will be trained to look like they care when they are listening to an old man talk about growing up in the 1940’s
As this song is about the Glory Days, The ALP are going to erect a statue of Bob Hawke in all the major cities around Australia to remind people when the ALP had a popularity rating in the polls larger than New Zealand’s expected gold medal tally at the London Olympics.
3) Born to Run
Funding is to be increased to the Australian Institute of Sport
Every Australian Medal winning Track Athlete from the London Olympics will be given a life time exemption of paying beer excise so they can, in their older age, talk cheaply about the Glory Days with their mates.
As the song is about a busted up old car, any car older than 15 years, will be exempted from the Carbon Tax and will be given free registration “cause baby we were born to run”
This is a song about the futility of war.
Economic direction of the ALP from this song
Defence spending is to be cut significantly
Undertakers will be exempt from the Carbon Tax
Pacifist socialist groups in Universities will be given Charity Status and funded generously from the Government
“Blind faith in your leaders will get you killed”: The money saved from the cuts to the Defence Budget will be allocated to improving eye health with the waiting list cut for cataract surgery to be halved by 2014. A commitment that no child will needlessly go blind by 2020.
Nowra, as it is a Navy town will be reinvented with Peter Pilt becoming the President of the World’s newest Nation – Piltopia.
5) Wages of Sin
A little known song of Springsteen’s with lyrics like
Wages of sin, you keep me paying
Wages of sin for wrongs that I’ve done
Wages of sin, you keep me paying
Wages of sin, one by one
The ALP are obviously looking at a major restructure of the Wages Policies making it a crime punishable by a prison sentence for sacking an employee. This policy is a major reaction against Work Choices that made it easier to sack someone, the ALP are introducing the concept that it doesn’t matter what an employee does, the employer must just keep paying.
Christianity is also now going to become a major part of Taxation reform with sin attracting a tax and confessional prayers asking Jesus to pay for the person’s sin on the cross will no longer be exempt from the GST.
Pastors will now have the same salary level as a QC.
6) Dancing in the Dark
The ALP are going to introduce a big new tax on everything and call it the Carbon Tax. They will promise not to introduce it thereby brilliantly deceiving people by keeping them in the dark about it. Then when they negotiate their way into Office by some back room deal with three blind mice, who themselves are in the Dark, blackened by the lure of being a King Maker, they will announce the Carbon Tax as a lovely surprise for the Australian Electorate. Then when it comes in, Electricity Prices will rise 18% and there will be no choice for the Australian People but to turn their lights off and look forward to the next Federal Election where with the hope of a regime change, in anticipation, the Australians find themselves “Dancing in the Dark”.
No wait. Hasn’t that already happened. Weird that it made it in here.
Interesting song with the lyrics including.
Im driving in my car, I turn on the radio
Im pulling you close, you just say no
You say you don’t like it, but girl I know you’re a liar
`cause when we kiss, fire
Romeo and juliet, samson and delilah
Baby you can bet their love they didn’t deny
Your words say split but your words they lie
`cause when we kiss, fire
Obviously from this Song, Wayne Swan and the ALP are aware that Julia Gillard lied to the Australian people and they are going to bring back Kevin Rudd
They are also going to increasing funding for all Volunteer Bushfire Brigades around the country and everyone who’s house burns down in a fire, will have it rebuilt by the Federal Government.
Lessons will be given in all Schools on a concept called No means No.
Also the ALP is going to increase funding for Mental health with particular focus on decreasing the suicide rates amongst lovers. It will be called the Romeo and Juliet Law.
Men will be given cash incentives to grow their hair long.
8) Brilliant Disguise
Some of the lyrics from this song that no doubt inspired Wayne Swan
Tonight our bed is cold
Im lost in the darkness of our love
God have mercy on the man
Who doubts what he’s sure of
An obvious metaphorical reference to the relationship between the ALP and the Electorate, the fact that they have buried their head in the darkness of the sand. There is a reference to a man leading the ALP – Rudd, but the doubts are in relation to when is Rudd going to issue a challenge. Rudd has a brilliant disguise as it looks like at times that he is working for the Liberal Party. There is no economic policies coming from this song, just a sigh.
Victoria will be allowed to secede from the Commonwealth Federation of Australia
10) Land of Hopes and Dreams
The Mining Tax is going to be increased, famers will be taxed for everything they grow, tourism will be taxed, in fact anything will be taxed that makes money from the Land as it is the ALP’s hope and dream, that this land will provide them with enough money to come up with a budget surplus in 2012-2013.
Go for it Mr Swan. I feel happy today knowing you are currently leading our Nation.
To the reader
Hope it made you smile