I preached recently on Love and I summarised the first 11 Chapters of 1 Corinthians as a letter from an Imaginary National Executive to the Eldership of the Church at Corinth. The church was having significant problems and each one of the issues in the letter come from 1 Corinthians. (There is a little literary license)
Dear Eldership of the church at Corthin,
It is with a heavy heart that I have to write to you after hearing of the issues that the church you oversee is dealing with. It seems that the church has descended into Chaos. Your conduct is unbecoming of a church of Jesus Christ and you are doing damage to the Kingdom of God.
To date, the issues that I have had confirmed as being significant within your church are:-
1) Violent and threatening infighting within the church and amongst the leadership. This is not the way to settle conflicts within a church.
2) Violent disputes about the theology of Baptism and the correct procedure for baptising people. I also note that this includes people who once baptised feeling that they are more righteous if the Senior Pastor baptised them as opposed to one of the ministry team
3) Sexual Immorality that is not only affecting individuals but has polluted the whole church. It has been reported to me that one of your members had an affair with his step mother. The level of immorality and family dysfunction for this to happen and to seemingly be accepted by you the Elders, shows me you have completely abandoned your posts as spiritual oversight of the church.
4) Your dereliction of duties is also evident by the drunkenness in the church. I understand that its part of the cultural context you live in, but that should not be an excuse for this kind of behaviour in the church. Apparently some of the leaders are getting drunk on the communion wine. Your whole attitude of irreverence toward communion and remembrance of Christ and his death is astonishing and disappointing. This needs to be addressed as a matter of urgency as to cause no further ramifications.
5) I have been contacted by the Supreme Court regarding a legal issue that has arisen between your Worship Leader and your Children’s Church Pastor. Firstly you need to inform me of pending legal action and secondly, the secular courts should not be used to settle disputes within the church. Surely you have counsellors trained in conflict resolution that could be used to bring about a win/win situation for any parties to a dispute.
6) The next issue that I need to address with you is beyond comprehension so I am just going to make this as clear as possible. You can’t have cell group discussions about what brothels are the best brothels to go to. The use of Prostitutes by Christians is counter to our moral code. The fact that there are men in the church visiting prostitutes is a significant enough issue. The fact that this is celebrated by people in the church shows a level of debasement that I have not seen in my entire ministry. It’s no wonder you are having a significant number of marriage breakdowns or marriages with major dysfunction particularly in the physical intimacy area. It is therefore also probably no surprise that the dress code on the platform of the ladies you have ministering has decline markedly since I was last in attendance. The dress code is below community standards and will only serve to be a distraction and a further point of dispute in your church.
Look I could go on about the multiple instances of extortion, the rumours of vanity that exists amongst the worship team and other concerns I have with the church. Suffice to say that what shocks me more than all the above is that you are not shocked by all of the above. Rather I have heard you have become quite proud of where the church is at. I am meeting with the three guys that head up our denomination in the next two days and I will forward you a letter of action that you will be required to execute.
Apostle Paul
Categories: Theology, Uncategorized
peterpilt 
Leave a Reply