Today I received a text message out of the blue.
Hi Peter, this is an important message to please contact Probe urgently on 1300 660 522 quoting reference number DT******** Thank You.
So I ring and quote the reference number.
The operator asks me to verify my full name and address.
I ask her to explain who Probe is and what the issue is.
She refuses due ‘to privacy’.
I ask her if Probe is a debt collection agency. (took an educated guess)
She confirms it is. So ok I will confirm who I am. (thought this may be the best course of action in light of my Credit Rating)
Operator: Will you confirm your residential address?
So I ask? Can you confirm who you are and how do I know you are not a Nigerian money scammer.
Operator says:- We are not Nigerian scammers.
I say:- Isn’t that what a Nigerian Money Scammer would say?
After this the conversation goes back and forth for a few more exchanges as I try to convince the woman that she is acting exactly like a Nigerian money scammer (Like Robert if you listen to Kate and Husey in the drive time radio spot in 106.5FM)
She finally let’s me know that apparently my Roam Tolling account is $24 in arrears.
So then she asks for my Credit Card number.
I asked her to confirm her residential address.
So I tell her she possibly does live in Nigeria and therefore I won’t give her my credit card details.
She asks well how are you going to fix this?
I told her I will ring Roam Tolling direct.
As I am about to hang up she asks if I can confirm that I still live at Cambewarra address.
Me:- Have you learnt nothing from these last few minutes?
So I ring Roam Tolling.
During the 6 minutes of preliminary recorded messages I am asked to put in my Roam Tolling Account number followed by the hash button. And the the six digital PIN number associated with the account.
Which I do.
Operator:- Good Morning sir. Can I start with your account number?
Operator: Why not.
Me:- Because I have already entered it.
Operator: Well I don’t have access to that.
Me: So why does the machine ask me to do it.
Operator: I don’t know.
Me: I think you should find out seeing I just wasted valuable time entering the numbers.
So I capitulate to the machinery like an extra in a Terminator movie becoming fodder to the machines for the viewing pleasure of the masses who sit transfixed not knowing they are being condition to obey the system. As part of the verification process I am asked to confirm my email address. Which I do. I pay the $24. And then I ask for an email to verify I no longer owe any money.
Operator:- I am sorry sir I don’t have access to emails.
Me:- So why ask me to verify my email address?
Me:- Let me speak to a supervisor. 26 mins on hold later. The original operator comes on.
Operator: I am sorry sir there are no supervisors. I have asked the back office staff to send you an email.
Me: So you can send me an email receipt?
Operator:- Yes sir
Me: Why didn’t you say that 26 mins ago?
Operator: Will that be all sir?
Me:- I will be sending Roam Tolling an invoice for half an hour of my hourly rate.
Operator. Thank you sir.