M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your awesome Frontal Lobe. Good Morning and welcome to today. Here is the news with a smattering of attitude.
Parental Guidance is recommended.
Also you are not you when you are hungry. See Pic.
Woolworths says Masters was a failed business venture…7000 jobs in doubt….wait for Bill Shorten to blame the Government. Wait for it……
Body found in search for missing Vic mum.
Kyrgios makes perfect start to the Australian Open as long as you don’t count the last 12 months where he has been a complete and utter tool….then yes it’s perfect……just wait till he opens his mouth…..
Tennis is not fixed apparently. $300k offered to Djokovic to throw match. Personally I would have done it for $150K.
Pastor from the Gold Coast does not condone cheating in sports…except Canadian Curling….then that’s begging for a sport controversy because the last one happened in 1947 when Steven Jennings used a brush sourced from Canadian Blue Spruce instead of Canadian White Spruce. The sport never really recovered and so in 2016 you have some people within the Commonwealth poking fun at the Canadian Curling Team and infact the entire sport of Curling which you would think is not out of place in Melanie Pilt’s salon.
Passengers restrain man on domestic Qantas flight…..apparently they have ‘a certain set of skills’ which I also have a certain set of skills but my skills will only result in the accurate interpretation of a Profit and Loss Statement. I am the Liam Neeson of the Economist World: ‘I will find you and I will understand your profit levels’
Turnbull is in America.
Xenophon did something but I just realised his name sounds like Xenophobia which I don’t know what that is but will assume it’s the fear that we being entertained by tennis stars who are messing with our minds by fixing matches.
Hey Dad star who abused children on set appeals for freedom along the lines of I am a celebrity get me out of here. (I may have paraphrased this). Nope sorry. If you abused children then suck it up and deal with the crap you are getting in Prison…if you didn’t want to go to prison then you shouldn’t have done bad stuff and I say bad stuff to not be explicit and mess with your breakfast.
US Dad dies driving pregnant wife to hospital to have a baby. Some news stories just suck.
Amy Schumer breaks a shoe on stage. And this counts as news why?
People Smuggler weeps over the bodies of drowned children…..the crocodile tears shown hear would have had Steve Irwin saying ‘Crickey’.
Jennifer Aniston was stoney faced as she walked down the red carpet during the People’s Choice Award….and at the same time child brides were raped in Nigeria making apparent stoney face appear farcical in the media cause actually no one gives a dam about said stone.
There are 62 people in the world who are more wealthier than 3.5 billion in the world.
US Navy reveals new weapon….and no its not sending Clive Palmer or Woolworths into a country to sink the economy.
Apparently you can rent your own island for a romantic getaway for $60K. Personally I would rent you NZ for just $25k and Tasmania for $10k and don’t even get me started on what you can have Indonesia for.
North Korea drops one million leaflets via Balloon over South Korea….Not one mentioned Global Care nor its bank account where you can donate to the great work that the organisation does.
Norwegian swimmer braves swimming under 15cm of ice.
And that my friends is a wrap.
Ps Peter Pilt
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Categories: Morning News Wrap.